Resilience of a Black Woman

Resilience

The ability to bounce back, be happy, successful after being bent, stretched, and pressed out of shape by life’s challenges, difficulties, and horrors.

Hi, I am Scott V. L. Mac, and I’m Resilient.

I have overcome many obstacles to become the strong, resilient person that you see here today. I am a mom of four (4) who has had to make the heart-wrenching decision of giving up two of my kids for adoption. I have been through 2 divorces and abusive relationships. I spent 4.5 years working in Iraq as a civilian alongside the US Marines and Army at the Al Asad, Al Taqaddum airbases.

I lost my home in a fire and was left with just the clothes on my back. (I discuss the heartbreaking reason why in my autobiography - Resilience of a Black Woman). I fought relentlessly for custody of my kids because they wanted to stay with me. I lost my mom to cancer nine months before leaving for Iraq.

As you can see, I not a stranger to difficulties. But I always get up, dust myself off, and keep going. Today, I own my own home, and I’m working for the local government driving the city bus. And I’m doing something I love – publishing stories, fictional and non-fictional.

Fun Facts About Me

I have a cookie obsession.

I loved cookies so much when I was 3 years old, I took money out of my dad’s pocket and went next door to Porters Laundry (the lady had an ole school store) in the back of her dry cleaning store. Mrs. Porter had to walk me home afterward because, little did I know, I had taken out $100 to buy cookies. My mom later came home to find me perched on top of the TV, eating cookies. I still have that picture and dress till today 

I love driving big vehicles.

I have driven trucks, tankers, refers, containers, school buses, and charter buses. Any size vehicle, put me behind the wheel, and it’s a go.

I love travel.

I have been to Russia, Jamaica, Dubai, Mexico, and Baghdad. I have a lot more places on my list.

I was recognized for my work in Iraq.

I received a Certificate of Appreciation from Major, US Army MITT TEAM CHIEF & a Certificate of Honor from D5 Site Manager.

The Books

Resilience of a Black Woman

This an autobiography of my journey to being the person I am today. It follows the many defining chapters of my life from marriage, children, loss, heartbreak, and resilience to start over.

26 Degrees

This is an action fiction book inspired by the movies my dad and I used to watch together. It follows the protagonists – 2 CIA agents – on the hunt for a Russian mafia agent.

Hello everyone she's out my first book finally made it's debut June 28th 2020 this book took me through hell and back it has all the juicy details about my life this book has been setting on my desk top for the past 9 years. I have been entertaining you all for years and i know that i lost a lot of you all but i am here to stay and i hope that you all will enjoy my book Resilience of a Black Woman. She's now out of Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Pictures are worth a thousand words

A picture is worth a thousand words, a picture tells a story just as well as a large amount of descriptive text. These are just a few of my pictures that I wanted to share. The people that I came in contact with some reside in different parts of the world but here they are helping the Americans with this mission. This opportunity was giving people a chance to live a better life for whatever the future may hold. It amazes me how we can spend over thousands of dollars on house notes and car notes....etc., with that amount of money it could last some of these people months or even years to live on. Yet they still live a peaceful life. We connect from time to time on FB for the ones that are still there. Some haven't been home in years. I've worked side by side with these men and they are all hard workers. There were some that were just there for the money. Some put forth the effort but there were beautiful sunsets/sunrise, beautiful people, and hot Ass weather....lol, above all, it was worth every bit of it.

DIGNITY AND RESPECT

  

As Time Moves Forward

Returning back home from my abroad adventures. I've seen and heard so many things while I was away from home some I wish to forget, others I wish to embrace and some I wish I could seize the moment. Although there are a lot of things that I cannot say, some of which I think have been placed on me as a burden in which is the price I took the moment I stepped off that plane welcoming me into Iraq. This is something I'll take home with me until the day I depart this earthly place. All I can say is PLEASE GOD!!!! Bless the ones that have lost their loved ones in this war and many other wars. And for the ones that have moved onto our Farther my they all Rest In Peace.

 My book is about my life journey to Russia, Iraq, Mexico, Dubai, Al Taqaddum, Al Asad, The people that I came in contact with Bosnians, Macedonians, Kosovo, Prishtina, Turkish, Iraqi, Nepalese, Andhra Pradesh, UAE and many Americans from all over the US, Panama, The proud Royal Air forces, Ugandans, Marines, Army, and there three-star Gen who became a Four-Star Gen while he was abroad in Iraq. Leaving home was way overdue. Putting my life on paper was/is very hard for me. Sometimes I set here reading all the obstacles that were put in my path. Obstacles of making me say how the hell did I do it, how did I get this far. I've been through so much I have been in a mentally and physically abusive marriage, being used, being talked down to by my husband.

And for me to have given up two of the most perishes things in my life. I decided to put my life on paper only because I wanted to reach out to my single mothers young and older. As I see myself today a mother's job is never done and being a single mother you are both Mother and Dad. We, single mothers, have to set examples in our kids’ lives; lead them down the right path, through your eyes. The paths you lead are also your kid’s future.

I've met so many people from all over the world that have made such an impact in my life and there where others that didn't care to.

There were husbands and wives there in Iraq trying to make their lives better days for when it was time for them to return back home with "NO" worries. There were some trying to get out of debt that we seem to put ourselves in. I've seen many homes being broken up because of money issues spouse spending money and many other reasons. I've seen Military men and women worried about home and their spouses. Leaving home going abroad seeing and hearing things, put my mind in such a perspective place. For me to leave my kids home with this man I no longer called my husband.

 With my baby sister and her husband right there by my kids side was really hard for me to do. But no matter what blood is thicker than water and knowing that a child did not bound me and my husband together it was a matter of time. I promised God that I wouldn't just give up so easy on my marriage like I did with my first. Being with my first husband for over thirteen years and for him to up and leave his family for his God sister it was something awful.....and to think how dare you look your kids in the face knowing that they knew the real reason why you left home this still seems to amazes me till this day.

Someone told me that what I went through was made to reach The Jerry Springer Show. I'm pretty sure all of us have been through a lot to say the same. But being brought up right I left it all in the Lords' hand. I find myself day dreaming about going abroad again. I didn't think I would ever feel this way wanting to traveling, seeing different things, meeting new people. Wanting to travel around the world. Want to see our beautiful Nation, wanting to see God's creation.

 I'm hoping to make in impact on our single mothers lives into wanting more for themselves and for their children. To be driven, setting the example for their future, so that they would look back and say......wow, my mother sacrificed a lot, and for them to say later on in life momma thank you so much for giving me the guides. For you to hear them to say I didn't think it was going to be this hard but I learned from the best, I'll take what I learned and put it to good use. It's going to be hard but it's all about how bad you want it only then you'll start to see your achievements in life and all your goals that you have accomplished and much... much more. There are so many obstacles and people that have been put forth my path some that have hurt me and others that have made me think about what I want to do next in life. My Book is called Resilience of a Black Woman I'm looking forward on some feed backs from my Google friends and to many of my blog readers.

Our Beautiful Nation

 

The DUBAI-The time I spent abroad was very captivating getting to know our Nation of many change faces. There are so many different religions, languages, and Nationalities. The time I spent in Dubai I saw the state of Washington is a lot like Dubai so many different Nationalities there. Dubai the country that grew on me and became a part of my life it's so much to see, to do, you'll never be bored. I learned one thing while being there you need to bring plenty of money with you. I was going in and out of Dubai for the past four years and I never got to really site see Dubai like I wanted to. The time I spent in Dubai I knew I wanted to see more of this beautiful country. They use to say the Empire state building was the tallest building in the world and before I went abroad I think I would have kept saying the Empire State Building but now that I know better the tallest building in the world lies within Dubai  Burj Khalifa coming in just before we'd land I would always see the tip of the Burj Khalifa and the Palm Island BEAUTIFUL!!!!!. Something I think everyone must-see. Before you leave make sure you dress warm but yet very conservative. Living in a Country that's Muslim you can’t just do whatever you want, above everything Dubai is a must-see country. It was one other thing I had to get use to while being in this beautiful country was the Fajr pray coming from the Al Wahab mosque loudspeaker they placed it all over and in the airport. But it's their way of performing their most important duty in life, which is salaah, or prayer.

RUSSIA- It's nothing like you've seen on TV. Beautiful country, maybe I didn't get to see all but the places I've seen it was all beautiful I know that there places around the world that has the bad side of town that's nothing new. When I got there I really didn't look at what money this country went by. I just started spending inside the airport still remember like it was yesterday I brought a bag of chips, a can soda, and a sandwich. Now everyone knows here in the US that'll cost you about no more than $5.00. The chips us to be $.25 but now it's $.50 and the can soda here no more than $.60 and the sandwich $2.50-$2.99. When the young lady wrung me up it came to $27.00 us dollars. When I asked what this country goes by I looked at the register and it said Euro's that's when I knew this country is worth more than the US. I don't know who comes first Dubai or Russia. The older generation there didn't speak English so they brought out the younger adults to talk with us. For me it was a good experience when I talk and they respond back you had to really listen they spoke broken English and when I'd respond back they would ask'' how do you say it"....it was the funniest thing there trying to get answers to these questions but there learning in the process, I guess that's the best way to learn.

Monterrey Mexico- I've traveled there three times and I could never get enough of this country see I'm from the south Savannah GA we don't have mountains so I was fascinated by their mountains. How it smothered the city as I come into land I immediately look for the mountains that cover this city it's so beautiful and at night it's even more Beautiful Monterrey is the capital city of the northeastern state of Nuevo León in the country of Mexico The city is anchor to the third-largest metropolitan area in Mexico and is ranked as the ninth-largest city in the nation. Monterrey serves as a commercial center in the north of the country and is the base of many significant international corporations. It is Mexico's second richest city. Monterrey is one of Mexico's most developed cities, with the highest per capita income in the nation, and is regarded as a highly developed city. Rich in history and culture, Monterrey is often regarded as the most "Americanized" city in the entire country, even above the cities along the U.S-Mexico border. And if you’re looking to get a Lap-Band done this is the place to be Dr. Roberto Rumbaut is an excellent Doctor. And it didn't cost me my home....just a joke I got to have a little sense of humor.

IRAQ- I know you're tired of hearing about this beautiful country but some of you must understand that going to church you're still learning about Iraq and the history of it all and as much as we learn about this country back in the biblical days we still won't understand how it becomes of this the way it is today. You know when we go to another whole country from the US what they always tell us don't drink the water. So the US military had bottled water delivered throughout Iraq for everyone but the water that we bath with was made by civilians from the ROW-PU. Here in TQ/Al Taquddum, our water was sucked out of a manmade lake(so I've been told) that was from the west of the Camp don't know if this linked up to the Tigris river or not but TQ was unique in it on way. There was nothing to do there the other camps had Burger King, Sub-Way, Popeye's and a pizza place guess that's why our Marines had those hard rock bodies.....Oorah. But TQ was my home for 2 years

 As you see here in my pictures the hoses coming from the water into the ROW-PU to have the water treated so that they would able to transport the water out to the tanks. There was time we had to bathe with bottled water because the pumps would go out sometimes. There were plenty of times we had cut off times to take shower and if you didn't make it you wouldn't be able that day but hopefully, you made it in that night before they cut it off for that night, sometimes I wouldn't make it...lol. They did that because some of the guys would Leave their water faucet on and before that day was over with the tanks would be empty....lol. So nights when I would come in from work I make sure I'd bring in bottled water. It makes you wonder about the Iraqi people and how they do it....who knows I'm just glad I got the opportunity to see this wonderful place that was once called Babylon

My mind and my heart have been twisted for the past few weeks of losing Friends that I grew up with. Life is so precious, how it is that one day everything is fine and then you wake up the next day to facebook to see your friends or relatives posting Rest in Peace Tonya Pough or April Jenkins, this is not real.... so soon. These young ladies are mothers we grew up together, playing, walking home from school, talking about boys and what we wanted to become, I'd always say I wanted to be a teacher.....lol, I'm only a few years older and they've already been called home to our father. Is it true as you get older you're more emotional about a lot of things?

 I know one day we all will be called home and that God promised us eternity. I find it hard each night before I lay my head down to sleep wondering will this be my last night on earth. Seeing a post on Face book about someone that has made an impact on my life pass away, not even that it could be me.  I find it hard to get adjusted after losing someone even if they've only been in my life for a day, a week, a month even if they've only been in your life for a few hours. Someone was put in my path by a co-worker even though he was put in my life for a little over a month. I still see myself crying for someone I barely knew. He'd call and we would talk but nothing ever happened. Tuesday, April 9th he called, we talk for a while, he calls the next day we decided to meet each other Wednesday. I was surprised by our conversation that he decided to take a day off. While talking he made a joke-telling someone in the background that he was talking to his future wife Mrs. Dempsey.

We finally decided to meet each other this past Sunday 4/14/13. Before I went to bed early 12:30am Thursday morning 4/11/13, I received a phone call from his sister my co-worker telling me that he was gone. I'd ask her gone was she repeated his gone and I'm just sitting there asking her were from the tone of her voice I finally realize that he was no longer here on earth with us and that he was joined by our Father. It hurts me so bad to have not really stayed on him about his health. God is good all the time but sometimes he takes the ones that he needs the most even when they have made such an impact on our lives. So today my late dear friend CHARLES DEMPSEY. Even though we didn't get to walk down that matrimony.......smiling, you are and will always be my Eternal husband

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me                          
                           

When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see,

If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me,

I wish so much you wouldn't cry, the way you did today,

While thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.


I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,

And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.

But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,

That an angel came and called my name and
took me by the hand.


And said my place was ready in Heaven far above,

And that I'd have to leave behind, all those
things I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,

For all my life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.


I had so much to live for, so much yet to do,

It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad,

I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had.


If I could relive yesterday, Just even for a while,

I'd say goodbye and kiss you, and maybe
see you smile.

But then I fully realized, that could never be,

For emptiness and memories, would take
the place of me.


And when I thought of worldly things, I might
miss come tomorrow,

I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was
filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through Heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.

When God looked down and smiled at me,
from his great golden throne.


He said, "This is eternity and all I've
promised you.

Today your life on Earth is past, and
here it starts anew".

"I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,

And since each day's the same day, there's
no longing for the past".


"But you have been so faithful, So trusting and so true,

Though there were times you did some things,
you know you shouldn't do".

"But you have been forgiven, and now at
last you're free,

So won't you take my hand now and share
My life with Me".


So when tomorrow starts without me, don't
think we're far apart,

For every time you think of me, I'm right here
in your heart.
          

RIP Charles Dempsey 4/11/13

 

 

 

 

 

 

               

Obstacles & Sacrifice

My motivators are my Mom and Dad and even though they're not with me today. Seeing what they both went through on their health issues. My motivation became my health. Weighing in at 390lbs 5'8 1/2 made me want to have better health and lifestyle. I decided to make a doctor’s appointment just for a checkup, wanting to know about

my health, being that I was overweight. The Doctor took one look at me and asks me'' how long have I been like this'' my eyes opened up so wide I couldn't believe she'd ask me something like this I couldn't do anything but cry. I then ask her '' can you help me" as if I was lost. She said "yes I can'' Believe it or not she helped me more ways than one. This weight thing is NO joke; it took forever and some days to see some results. There was a lot of confusion, frustrations and crying on my part. My weight was unbearable.

The Doctor begins telling me how much calories and sugar I should eat in a day and my cut off eating time. I started walking; eating right and most of all water became my best friend. I had some setbacks a relapse. I had to have a pizza... I'm crying, started going through with drawls. Brokedown and ate the pizza. After eating the pizza I felt guilty, that was the last day I ever had a relapse I was determined. It was all about me and my health. I was wearing 30/32 shirts, pants, and 26/28 underwear. Weeks later still not seeing any changes but I felt different. I wasn't giving out of breath or feeling tired so fast. I learned you lose water first, the inches and then the weight starts to come off. Month’s later people started seeing results even when I only lost 20lbs. I started seeing changes, seeing scars I haven’t seen since I was a teenager.

Wal-Mart, Kmart or the mall didn’t have my size. It was the big girl's store for me, I remember the first day I found a pair of jeans my size, and my eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. Taking pictures was out of the question the last picture I took, was in the 12th grade. After that my weight was getting out of control. After my mother was diagnosed with Lymphoma, with no insurance. I felt they could have done better and gave her other options; with no insurance, your options are very limited. At that time I didn't see where this was going but now I realize after losing my mother, that if I didn't take control of my life, my weight, my health, that I wouldn't be here long to enjoy life. I fought like hell trying to find a job with health insurance. I didn't want to go through what my Mom experienced.

After losing my mother and my grandmother less than a year my life was useless it was like I didn’t have anything to live for my best friend, my mother is gone. My heart was shattered I just couldn’t stop crying, asking myself what I’m I going to do now, she's gone, she left me. I know everyone goes through a great ordeal in life. When she was diagnosed with lymphoma I started going through something of my own that set me in depression, I gained 34lbs. of what I had lost. I went from 300 to 334 all less than a year. There's so much I wanted to ask my mother, I didn’t know how to ask questions about dying without her feeling bad enough, this Cancer is taking our loved ones and there nothing we can do about it.

In 1996 my Dad died from Hepatocellular Carcinoma (liver cancer) cancer showed up again 11 years later. This is what drove me to leave for overseas. I made up my mind to do something about my health, doing a lot of studies. I found a Doctor that does weight-loss surgeries. I decided to go abroad to Mexico and have a LAP-BAND. They explained that I would need a fill every six weeks. I didn’t know how I was going to make this work, we only get vacations every four months but I knew that I wanted this done. Trying to make a change not even two years later Lymphoma came back in the family but this time we won. My obstacles kept on coming.

When I left for Iraq the weight was not the issue until two years later. Coming back from a vacation stopped in Dubai as always and got wind that there are weight requirements now. They wanted everyone at a certain weight, they gave us a time limit to lose the weight if the requirement wasn’t met when they did a recheck you would be sent home. My heart pounding fast, I didn’t believe what I was hearing. Two weeks later I was weighed in at 272lbs, with the LAP-BAND I’d lost 62lbs, by the weight and height but wait a minute the height they gave me was not my height another obstacle there was no reason arguing about the situation they gave me a month to lose 30 pounds. I'd call my family being disappointed and depressed with what I was going through, I’d only lost 12lbs but I was at a weight loss plateau. I'd call home upset telling the kids I’m coming home I can’t do this my weight is not coming off.  Every time I'd call home my kids would say momma you're going to make it stop crying....we know you can do this.

Going to the gym and barely eating, the food there was made to accommodate the military that worked out 3 to 4 times a day. I met a guy in the gym that told me he was going on a citrus diet. I asked him what was it he replied and said it's just oranges and water all day. My days were narrowing down I decided to give it a try this time they sent me to another camp. At my new camp D5 Stryker, for those of you that don’t know, this Camp was where they kept Saddam Hussein. So now here I am at my new camp, doing my citrus diet once a week after I come off the citrus diet that Monday I would eat real food once that day. The next day for the whole week I would do a water diet at the end of that week on a Monday I would eat real food once that day and water the rest of the day. I wasn’t eating anything after 6pm after not eating I would lie in bed, I couldn’t do anything but sleep from being so hungry. At night time i would take a peppermint and suck on it all night until I fell asleep to make the hunger pain go away. From a whole month of not eating, I made it with a smile on my face this obstacle was complete. Life is what you make it. You know your limitation and I knew that I had my family back at home that depended on me. So I sacrificed and did what I had to do for the love of my family. I've lost 140lbs, 70 more to go.

Real Good Hard Working Men

These men are Hard workers that never complained about anything that came their way. The ones I really enjoyed meeting are my Indian friends from all parts of India. One of the states was Andhra Pradesh. Even though it has a concoction of various communities, religions, customs, lifestyles, and cultures. In broad terms, the people of Andhra are nice and friendly, who live in perfect harmony, in spite of belonging to different castes and following a different religion. Andhra dwellers are kind, polite and god-fearing, who reside maintaining social peace and religious accord. Each person is very unique. The camps were getting smaller from base closure so they started downsizing people including the NCW/TCN's. They would put them in another area that they knew nothing about.
.

They were always eager to learn when that time came. There were some that weren’t very happy each person got used to being treated a certain way. I see myself changed; I've become a little bit more humble than I was before, bet still not allowing people to run over me. The Internationals from India had their own camp that was sectioned off from other camps. At one point they allowed us to go in there camp if we wanted to eat dinner there. Some Americans would only go when they had Ox Tails with brown gravy and rice for dinner. It was mainly the ones from the south. The girls would bring me a plate whenever they had some for dinner.

Those Indians really know how to smother food with gravy or curry, and it was always delicious. I really grew fond of samosas, it's a fried or baked pastry with a savory filling, such as spiced potatoes, onions, peas, entils, ground lamb, ground beef or ground chicken. I ran into someone from India that owns a store in the downtown area. She told me that I could find them in the Indian store, now I have my daughter loving them. My faraway friends are so Talented and will always hold a place in my heart. This was a unique Celebration the whole West LSA from Baghdad was there to celebrate the special occasion

My TQ family was somewhat the same. But they were different in many ways than the ones in Baghdad. I really didn't get to know the ones at TQ. Now that I've been in the country longer I wish I would have gotten to know them. The bottom photo was taken at TQ I really didn't know both of them. The one on the Right always came in my office to use the phone to call home. When he felt as those he could ask me to do something for him he asked and if I could help I did.

I was moved to the Service Desk, the lifeline of the whole camp. Without the Customer Service Specialist title. With the title that would have been more money for me. I really didn’t care I was still there. At that time they started talking about downsizing. We had a going-away party for one of the guys on my below picture. They were all working for a service desk in the Facility maintains department for all trades and dealing with some of the Task Force Safe. They were really the brain of it all....smart as a whip. 

Nepal people they're so many different Tribes and are very different than the other ones. I was more comfortable with the ones from Andhra Pradesh my spirit was more at ease. They put most of the Nepalians in the DFAC, at TQ they had a few of them in the bakery area and I saw so much raw talent until it was so unreal. These men will never know what in the influence they have been to our country right there in Iraq and for them to be our Ilia’s we couldn’t have asked for a better country. Huh, and they say good men are hard to find.